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Make Money Selling Erotica on Amazon – Can You Still Make Money Selling Erotica on Amazon?

Make Money Selling Erotica on Amazon – Can You Still Make Money Selling Erotica on Amazon?

It’s the year 2020 and some of you may be toying with the idea of entering the awesome world of smut writing, I mean writing erotica as a self published erotica author on Amazon in the hopes of making money.

Before I get deep into this (pun intended) I feel it necessary to point to what created the craze.

The year was 2011 and when E.L. James wrote the novel “Fifty Shades of Gray.” The long story short, she released it as an eBook and print on demand paperback. She wrote a couple of sequels, the books went viral and she’s has a net worth of over $100,000,000!

What followed was a craze of people writing their own smut…I mean romance erotica and many were making thousands of dollars per month.

Self publishing became a breeze with many self publishing platforms becoming available. In my personal opinion, the biggest being Amazon which is the biggest today.

Granted I don’t know a fucking thing about writing my own self published Amazon erotica but I do happen to know someone who has been playing around with it since 2017.

As of this posting, my friend has written what I feel is  a fuck load of erotica on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.  A total of 25, “books” ranging from super short reads, short reads and one very long attempt at a novel in the 400+ page range.

I’ll make myself clear on this point. She didn’t start writing to make money. She began writing to relieve her stress.  I like to drinks beers and shots of liquor when I’m stressed. She writes about lesbians falling in love and fucking.

If there is one thing in life I love is two hot chicks screwing each other’s brains out. I’ve read a few of her books and let’s just say my wife enjoyed herself with me afterward.

I  became curious how much a person could make by self publishing erotica through Kindle Direct Publishing as I’ve seen some insane numbers being thrown out on the internet.

I’ve even come across an entire program that sells for $149 that allegedly will show a person how to make $2,000 a month writing erotica.

Again, I don’t know shit about this so I invited her over to my house to have a few cocktails so I could pick her brain.

“Why Self Publish Erotica on Kindle Direct Publishing?”

When I asked her this question she told me that it’s easy to do and the most popular way to let people read her mostly (close to 100%) lesbian erotica books and stories so that’s why she writes exclusively on Amazon.

Here’s the kicker! When using Amazon and enrolling the work into Kindle Direct Publishing Select she’s agreeing that Amazon is her one and only source of delivering her work electronically. In other words, she can only sell through them and if she sells elsewhere and gets caught she’s saying bye to Amazon.

“How Much Money Have You Earned Publishing on Kindle Direct Publishing?”

This was the question I really wanted to know. Before I divulge her sales information I need to make a few things clear.

  1. She spends $0 on marketing.
  2. She doesn’t use her real name when she writes. She uses a pen name and as such does not have a Facebook fan page. I’m one of the few people who know she writes erotica.
  3. Within the last month she decided to attempt marketing her work. However, again at $0 cost. I made a small blog site for her which I host and she created an Instagram account.

To summarize the above, she spends $0 on marketing has no social media presence.

Total Sales and Pages Read from August 2017 through February 2020

  • 97 sold eBooks
  • 251 eBooks given away for free
  • 109,831 pages read through KDP Select
  • $850.87 earned over 31 months
  • $27.44 made on average over 31 months

When she provided me with the above statistics I was fucking stunned! I know she told me she didn’t write for the money but wow!

“Why Are Your Earnings So Low?!”

I may have had one two many in me by this point in our conversation but I think she did too.

When I asked her “Why are your earning so fucking low?!” she gave me a look that said, “Fuck you” and told me, “I told you I don’t write for the money. It’s a stress reliever!”

This didn’t make any sense to me. Granted she spent $0 on marketing, had no social media presence and no mailing list but come on! $27.44!

How in the fuck are people making thousands of dollars per month?

I still don’t know if people are making thousands of dollars per month by writing erotica on Amazon but it got me thinking. If I wanted to make money selling erotica on Amazon how would I go about it?

I thought long and hard and devised a plan.

  1.  Before I wrote a single fucking word I would set up all of my social media accounts. I fucking hate Facebook but why not create a fake account on Facebook?
  2. Before I wrote a single word, I would create a small site and most important create a mailing list.
  3. Write whatever the fuck I would write about. At the end of the end of the story write a short paragraph to whatever super horny fuck read my story directing him or her to my small site in the hope of getting the person to join my mailing list.
  4. Post a copy of the book cover on all social media sites.

I told her all about the above and she had zero interest which kind of pissed me off. I understand she doesn’t write for the money but I thought she would prefer to make more than $28 bucks a fucking month!

She called me an asshole (I am so no argument) texted me her log in information for her Amazon KDP account and gave me only three conditions.

  1. Don’t touch any of her books!
  2. Don’t write any books using her account!
  3. Give anyone her log in information and die!

Using her account and doing a bit of research on my own I asked myself the question yet again.

“Can a Person Make Thousands of Dollars Writing Erotica on Amazon?”

I’m not saying that a person can’t. I will say that I don’t believe that it’s likely a person in this day and age can still make thousands of dollars per month writing erotica.

There are a few reasons why I feel a person isn’t likely to earn thousands of dollars per month writing self published erotica on Amazon KDP.

Erotica is a Highly Saturated Market

For example, simply typing in the term “lesbian erotica” results in over 40,000 results. “Gay Erotica” results in over 50,000 results.

Even With an Awesome Niche It Would Be Difficult

Even if I were to find what I thought was an awesome niche I would have to write something that I may not enjoy writing about only to find out that no one wants to read what I wrote.

The Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing Select Commission!

The Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing Direct commission structure is ultimately what I found to be the biggest reason why I don’t think it’s likely for a person to make thousands of dollars per month.

What is the Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing Direct commission structure?

  • 35% max commission on stories/books priced from $.99 to $200.
  • 70% max commissio on stories/book priced from $2.99 to $9.99.

Prices are all over the place but I believe a sweet spot would be a price of $3.99 per book. I’m basing this on nothing more than a “best selling” author pricing most of her work at this price.

Make $2,000 a Month Selling Erotica on Amazon!

Pricing a book at $3.99 would allow me to make a commission of 70% or $2.79 per book.

In order to get to $2,000 per month earning a commission of $2.79 I would need to sell 717 books per month!

If I wanted to get to the $2,000 per month level solely depending on Amazon Direct Publishing Select at an average page read commission of $.003 I would need to have over 666,666 pages read per month. If I wrote a 250 page erotica book I would need around 2,667 people per month to read the entire book.

I can slice and dice the numbers over and again to get to the nice round number of $2,000 per month but I prefer to look at reasonable erotica book sale number to go along with a reasonable number of pages read.

My “reasonable” numbers may be different from your “reasonable” numbers but my numbers looks more in the realm of 100 books sold and 20,000 pages read.

  • 100 books priced at $3.99 at a commission of $2.79 = $279
  • 20,000 pages read at a rate of $.003 = $60
  • 100 books sold at $3.99 with 20,000 pages read at $.003 = $339

In picking apart my friend’s sales data I feel that her overall most successful month was as follows.

  • 19 books sold at an average price of ?
  • 11,306 pages read through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing Select
  • Money earned = $104.74

Okay, I’ll admit that I could have provided an actual average price of the books she sold that month but I don’t fucking want to take the time out my life.

I don’t know what the true average commission is for the pages read through Amazon KDP select by I do know that it’s around $.0035 depending on the size of Global Select Fund in a given month.

I won’t lie! If I could write smut, I mean erotic romance with a niche of say, midget bisexual ass pegging space aliens and earn $150 per month I would do it.

Fuck! Where are my manners? I mean to say little people who are sexually fluid individuals who enjoy proving anal sex and make $150 per month I would do it.

Again, I’m no expet and my friend could potentially make a solid $200 per month if she became serious about making $200 per month. However, again, she doesn’t write for the money.

Myself, on the other hand, love making money and would be willing to give it a go but before I do I need to here from those of you with experience.

Help a guy out!

  • Do you make money writing erotica on Amazon?
  • How much do you earn per month?
  • How many stories/books have you written?
  • How long have you been writing erotica on Amazon?

For the first time (not really) your man KnowItAll doesn’t know shit abut making money writing erotica on Amazon.

Please comment and…




Closing Rikers Island – The Plan to Close Rikers Island




Mayor Bill de Blasio wants Rikers Island closed by 2026 with the idea of building smaller borough facilities in New York City. Allegedly it will make it more convenient for inmates to attend court appearances and make it easier for families of those incarcerated to visit.

de Blasio believes that housing inmates closer to their homes and courts will make New York City’s criminal justice system “smaller, safer and fairer.”

His plain for the new jails would include on-site support services to assist inmates in getting their lives back on track and reduce the likelihood of being incarcerated again.

Sure, this all sounds great in theory but I’m going to show you how absolutely fucking retarded this plan actually is!

Why close Rikers Island? Ask any bleeding heart liberal and they’ll say, “There’s a culture of violence,” or “Rikers Island is inhumane to those who are detained.” The truth of the matter is that de Blasio and liberal politicians don’t have a fucking clue!

Let’s get a few fucking things straight before I go on my complete and utter tirade! Riker’s Island is not a fucking prison, it’s a fucking county jail.

RIKERS ISLAND IS A COUNTY JAIL – Yup, Rikers Island is a county jail serving Queens, Kings, Richmond, New York and the Bronx as is in the 5 counties better knowns as the 5 boroughs that make up New York City.

Inmates on Rikers Island consist of people who are being held on parole violations, are fighting a criminal case or cases as in being detained and those who have been sentenced for their crimes to 1 year or less. Any person who is sentenced for a crime to a term of longer than 1 year are state inmates not city inmates.

The average stay of an inmate on Rikers Island is 176 days or a little under 6 months. “But what about Kalief Browder?” Rikers Island only releases inmates when the criminal justice system tells them to do so. It’s not Rikers Island’s fault that Kalief Browder spent 3 years on the island. However, it is Kalief Browder’s fault that he spent 2 years in solitary. You want to know who spends that much time in solitary confinement? Asshole inmates! The guy gets released, off’s himself and it’s the fault of Riker’s Island? Please!


A Federal monitor was appointed in 2016 to investigate and report on the culture of violence allegedly present on the island. The findings were that staff on the island “relished confrontation” with inmates, rather than avoiding confrontation. Incidents were described such as a correction officers using pepper spray on inmates who was in restraints, and other incidents of “unnecessarily” kicking and stomping inmates.

As a result of the report changes were made that basically stripped correction officers of any “power” they had. Changes were made in regard how much time inmates who did not abide by the rules of the various jails could spend in solitary and changes made to when an officer could and could not use force to deal with inmates who were losing their shit and not listening.

The result? An increase in violence. Why? Inmates need rules and to have consequences for breaking those rules. Take away the consequences of breaking rules and what is the point of following rules?


On average 20% of the Rikers Island jail population are known gang members! Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, Trinitarios, MS-13 and other lesser known gangs.

Recidivism is fucking high! That’s right most people jailed on Rikers Island and released will return. In 2015 an experiment using a Social Impact Bond primarily funded by Goldman Sachs to reduce the reincarceration for juvenile offenders was to be used for juvenile offenders to work on personal responsibility education, training, and counseling. The result? It fucking crashed and burned. A $7.2 million-dollar failure that had zero effect as in none!

Of course, the above failure was directed at juvenile offenders. What about non juvenile offenders? Let’s just say that those fuckers love coming back. Why not? Inmates on Rikers Island receive three free meals per days, free medication, free eyecare and free healthcare. Need a hernia surgery you can’t afford? Just commit a crime, spend some time on Riker’s Island and the tax payers have got your back. Addicted to heroin? No problem, just show up with that shit in your system and you’ll get methadone treatment to make sure you get high for free.

If you think I’m skirting my own question, great! I love making a fucking point. In January of 2020 New York State bail reform sets in. At that time approximately 2,000 inmates will be released from Rikers Island and will be walking the streets.

Imagine waking up one morning and finding out that 2,000 inmates escaped from jail and were now walking the streets of New York City. Doesn’t that sound fucking awesome?

Of the 363 inmates who fit the bail reform bill, in Queens, who will be walking the streets come 2020 the average inmate will have had 6 felony arrests, five misdemeanor arrests, two felony convictions and six prior misdemeanor convictions. 80% of the 363 or approximately 290 are charged with fucking felonies! Doesn’t this make you all warm and fuzzy inside?

Remember the last time a mass bailout took place? If you don’t, I’m here to tell you it happened in 2018 when a non-profit called Robert F. Kennedy Humans Rights bailed out 23 people being detained on Rikers Island. About half of those who were bailed out were rearrested a total of 14 fucking times. “It was only 11 people?” ROFL, yeah it was, however, another 8 had bench warrants placed against them. That’s a total of 19 out of the 23 who were bailed out wound right back inside yet when 2,000 assholes, most of which who are fighting felony cases are released, what the fuck do you think is going to happen?

Despite crime rates going down, arrests going down and a dwindling jail population on Rikers Island violence continues to increase so what else? Programs are the answer! Liberal states, “There will be great programs at these new borough-based facilities.” Yeah, many of which already fucking exist! An inmate on Rikers Island can earn his or her Good Enough Diploma, (G.E.D.), obtain a CDL license, earn a food handler’s license and have access to many non-profit programs to “better” themselves. There are even programs that will pay for an inmate’s rent while he or she is being detained for a fucking crime! Even better, many of these programs will assist with helping these fucks get public assistance!

So, we already know that efforts in the millions of dollars was attempted to reduce recidivism among juvenile offenders, most adult offenders go back to jail and an attempt at mass bailout by a non-profit crashed and burned yet come January of 2020 thousands of people detained mostly on felony charges will be walking the streets.

Despite all this the plan to close Rikers Island moves forward. The cost? Only $11 billon fucking dollars! Of course, this is all contingent upon the jail population of New York City remaining below 5,000.

What the fuck is going to happen once this douche fucking mayor de Blasio leaves office after a failed bid to become President of the United States? When close to 90% of the inmates who will be released come January of 2020 go back to jail and when these awesome fucking programs do nothing?

I’ll tell you what the fuck is going to happen! New York City will have again wasted hundreds of millions of dollars to solve a problem by throwing money at it even though the problem was never understood! The number of incarcerated will go well above 5,000 and these new borough- based facilities will not be adequate. What will happen then?

Nothing is being said or done to deal with many of the mentally ill inmates! New York state continually pulled funding from mental health facilities and where did most of those people wind up? Rikers fucking Island is where!

What drives me insane is that no one and I mean no one can see the obvious. Who owns the island known as Riker’s Island? That would be the City of New York. Where is Rikers Island? It happens to be just behind LaGuardia Airport. You know that airport in Queens that is not an international airport but is going under extensive renovations to become one that is also owned by the City of New York?

I wonder how much money the city of New York could generate with 400 acres of land directly behind an international airport? There would be no fucking way that real estate developers would want to pay a premium price to build condominiums, hotels, casinos and perhaps a mall to serve those millions of international travelers flying in and out of LaGuardia daily.

The plan to shutter Rikers Island has nothing to do with the well being of inmates or a more just criminal justice system but has everything to do with the almighty dollar. The land that Rikers Island sits upon is valuable and de Blasio knows it. For a plan that is supposed to take 10 years to complete what’s the rush? Could it be $$$$?

Look what New York City has become like since de Blasio decided quality of life crimes were not worthy of prosecution. There are people pissing in the middle of the street in broad daylight. There are people taking shits on the train!

What’s really pisses me off about the plan to close Rikers Island is that government retards believe that taking the same repeat criminals off a jail on Rikers Island and moving them to small borough-based facilities is going to change the criminals.

Think about this logically! You have a dope fiend named John who does 15 days jail terms every other month to support his habit. Instead of John being housed in a jail on Rikers Island he’s housed at a borough facility in Brooklyn. Will this change John’s criminal activity simply because he’s now locked up in a different location? Absolutely not!

The cold hard truth is that the plan to close Riker’s Island is illogical and absolutely retarded! Becoming softer on crime in New York City then we already are while putting the safety of citizens in jeopardy at a cost of billions of dollars when it will accomplish nothing makes zero sense.

If you agree with the plan to close Rikers Island then I can only respond that stupidity is contagious!

15 Year Mortgages are Stupid!

There seems to be a never ending debate as to which mortgage term is better. Is a 30 year fixed rate mortgage better than a 15 year fixed rate mortgage? People have different reasons for stating why a 15 year mortgage is better than a 30 year mortgage but in my opinion 15 year mortgages are stupid and in this article I’ll explain why.

For the most part the difference between the interest rates in a 15 year mortgage compared to a 30 year mortgage will be around .50% meaning that if the going rate on 30 year fixed rate mortgage is 4% the rate for a 15 year mortgage will be around 3.50%. Let’s take a look at a $200,000 15 year mortgage fixed rate mortgage at 3.50% and compare the same $200,000 mortgage on a 30 year term with a rate of 4%.

Loan #1
Loan Amount – $200,000
15 Year Fixed rate
Rate of 3.5%
Payment Amount = $1,429.77

Loan #2
Loan Amount – $200,000
30 year fixed rate
Rate of 4%
Payment Amount = $954.83

The difference in monthly payment is $474.94 less per month on a 30 year mortgage versus the 15 year mortgage. If you applied the $474.94 difference your 30 year mortgage would be paid off 12 year and 6 months faster meaning your 30 year mortgage would actually be a 17.5 year mortgage. Sure I know what your thinking….aren’t you paying an extra 2.5 years? Of course but at least your not locking yourself into a much higher payment. Using the same loan in Loan #2 but providing yourself with a 15 year amortization schedule your monthly payment would be $1,479.38 or $49.61 more per month. Pretty much $50 per month…probably less that what you pay for your cell phone or cable bill.

As of this posting the average length for a family stay in a home is approximately 7 years or 84 months. If you purchased a home today and stayed for 7 years or 84 months and decided to sell your payoff amount on the 15 year mortgage would be approximately $118,484 whereas the approximate payoff amount on the 30 year mortgage the same 84 months later would be $171,738 a whopping difference of $53,284! However in that $53,284 difference between the two loans you would have paid an additional $38,894.36 for an actual net difference of $14,389.64 over 7 years or approximately $2,055 per year. Going a step further if you were to take $1,500 per year and invest $1,500 each year for 7 years that investment be worth approximately $14,800 leaving you cash positive each year of approximately $555 or $3,885 over the same 7 year period.

If you can’t tell by now the primary reason why I feel 15 year mortgages are stupid is because no matter how you slice it or dice it you are coming out of pocket much more leaving you with less financial flexibility. However, the reason why I feel that so many favor 15 year mortgages is because most people don’t have the financial discipline to come up with a mortgage plan and stick to it. Most people as in 97% of people according to the FDIC! Unfortunately in this day and age it seems that more and more people are incapable of thinking outside the box.

I have been and always will be a fan or pre-paying loan debt. Let’s face facts…..unexpected expenditures are going to happen. Your car may breakdown you may need to make an unplanned repair to your home or a variety of things. Using the 2 above loans again wouldn’t you prefer to have the extra $474 per month if you needed it. Heck you could even back the $474 per month and make a lump sum payment to your mortgage to get the benefit.

Perhaps it’s just me but I’ll never take a 15 year mortgage. How about you? Do you agree or disagree with my article on 15 year mortgages being stupid?

Transgender Stupidity!

Yes it’s 2017 but stupidity continues to run rampant. Maybe it’s just me but for the life of me I can’t seem to figure out how .3% of the population of the United States of America is causing such a fucking stir.

Let’s get this straight……You are a man who identifies as a woman so the fact that you have a penis doesn’t matter. You feel like you’re a woman so therefor you are? You are a woman who identifies as a man and the fact that you have a vagina doesn’t matter? Fucking seriously!!?? So knowing what I have known for my forty years on this fucking earth means nothing. You may look like a man, act like a man but since you identify as a woman I have to refer to you as a woman? No I fucking don’t!

Here’s the simple fact of the matter. If you have a penis your a man. If you have a vagina you are a woman. Case fucking closed. I don’t care about what you identify as. I identify as a 1990 Chevrolet Corvette even though I don’t have an engine, transmission or tires but because that’s how I feel that’s how society should view me!

Lets call this transgender stupidity what it really is….mental illness. No it’s not about me being insensitive or hating on people that I don’t agree with it’s called reality. Can’t anyone call a spade a spade anymore. Although representing a miniscule .3% of the entire US population upwards of 40% of the transgender community commit or attempt to commit suicide and it has nothing to do with social acceptance.

This entire transgender bathroom debate is fucking ludicrous. 99.97% of the US population is non transgender yet the rest of us have to conform to transgender mental health beliefs? It’s makes no freaking sense. Even more ludicrous is transgender children….that’s right TRANSGENDER CHILDREN! Yup I actually read an article where parents have stated that they knew their child was transgender by age 3. Age fucking 3!!! Let’s be real….at age 3 many kids can’t read or even spell their fucking names but a 3 year old boy can identify as a girl? What in the hell is going on with society as a whole for this to even be considered?

Before you go ahead and call me some sort of gay basher let’s be clear…..being transgender doesn’t make one gay does it? Oh yeah you may be a man who identifies as a woman who is sexually attracted to women! Besides I have tons of friends who are gay and lesbian and have family members that are gay. I don’t have an issue with homosexuality. If your a guy who is sexually attracted to guys or a woman who is sexually attracted to women than great for you. All I know is that this takes nothing away from transgender stupidity!

Paying for Credit Repair is Stupid – Why Paying for Credit Repair is Stupid!

In my opinion paying a company to “repair” your credit is one of the stupidest things a person who walks the Earth can do. So why is paying a company to repair your credit so stupid? Simply put I feel that credit repair companies are the hugest scam business on the face of the earth.

Think about this….an “affordable” credit repair company will charge you an initial fee of say $95 plus an additional $59 per month. If it takes the “affordable” credit repair company 4 months to “repair” your credit you spent over $300 to achieve something you could have done yourself for less than $20! Of course we all pay for things that we can do ourselves but in my opinion this is because we choose to pay others to do things we find to be unpleasant such as mowing our lawns, doing laundry or even going grocery shopping. I believe this is the very reason that these BS credit repair companies continue to thrive as most people equate credit repair to be some unpleasant, needing to be a credit expert sort of thing. Why not pay over $300 to pay someone to deal with the unpleasantness of repairing credit? It’s not unpleasant, is super easy and something you can easily do yourself!

DISCLAIMER…..KNOWITALL is not an attorney, does not claim to be an attorney and is not practicing law without a license in any state within the United States of America. KnowItAll is simply sharing his knowledge about what KnowItAll has learned about credit and credit repair services!

Now that the above is out of the way lets move on. If you’ve come across this post it may be because you’re thinking about hiring a credit repair company to help you repair your credit. You have crap credit and want to join the 700+ credit score club. For whatever reason you went into Google and typed in “Is paying for credit repair stupid”…..or “is paying for credit repair stupid?” or even “credit repair for the stupid” and came across my awesome blog.

In order to understand how to repair your own credit you must first understand how credit works. Simply put there are 3 agencies that provide credit scores. When you apply for a loan of any sort or a credit card the finance company or bank that you apply with will take your median score or the middle of the 3 scores to arrive at a Yes or No also known as your mid score. The 3 credit agencies are Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. Each have their own model to arrive at your score. Of course I don’t know what the individual models but factors consist of things such as how long you have had established credit, what are your credit limits, the amount of credit you have out with regard to your credit limit and your payment history. Each agency is bound by the Fair Credit Reporting Act which simply put is U.S. Federal Government legislation that was enacted to promote the accuracy, fairness, and privacy of consumer information contained in the files of consumer reporting agencies.

Before I go any further I must state that you cannot dispute accurate information. If I wasn’t clear let me put this in a different way for you…. YOU CANNOT DISPUTE ACCURATE INFORMATION! That’s right people….if you had an Amex card with a $10,000 limit, maxed it out for whatever reason and Amex charged the account off and is now trying to collect you cannot dispute that fact. You did max out the card and now you have to deal with it! This $10K Amex charge off will be accurately reported, will affect your credit score and will appear on your credit report for SEVEN (7) Years from the time the account went into collection!!

There is not a credit repair company on the face of the planet that can “permanently” erase accurate information but a little more on this later. The only thing a credit repair company can do is help you erase inaccurate information. Again….THE ONLY THING A CREDIT REPAIR COMPANY CAN DO IS HELP YOU REMOVE INACCURATE INFORMATION!! To put this in other words your credit score sucks because you don’t pay your debt so there is nothing you can do about it. If this is your case stop reading now as this post will in no way, shape or form help you become a responsible human being. You’ve been irresponsible for whatever reason and now you must live with the consequences which in this case may result in being denied for a secured credit card. Go to the top of your browser, click on the ‘X” in the upper right hand corner and enjoy your deadbeat existence! Just kidding so stop being so uptight.

So if there is no credit repair company that can erase accurate information why do credit repair agencies exist at all? Great question! In my opinion it’s because most people don’t understand credit in general, don’t want to understand t it, don’t want to learn about it and feel that you need to be an expert in credit when in fact its not complicated at all. With that being stated here is KnowItAll’s guide to self credit repair for those who know that have shitty credit or in other words paying for credit repair is stupid or in other other words go FUCK YOURSELF CREDIT REPAIR COMPANY!


Step 1 – As you are legally entitled to receive a FREE copy of your credit report every 12 months obtain such FREE CREDIT REPORT by going to a site such as AnnualCreditReport.com. Keep in mind you won’t obtain your credit score but since you already know you have shitty credit you don’t need your score right now anyway. All you want to do at this stage of the game is to get a hold of your credit report and review it for inaccurate information.

Step 2 – Review said FREE credit report for inaccurate information.

Step 3 – Highlight said inaccurate information with something like a highlighter or better yet an actual highlighter.

Step 4 – Write a letter to the respective credit bureau and make sure to include all the below information.
– Your full name including middle initial (and generation such as JR, SR, II, III)
– Your date of birth
– Your Social Security number (if you have never been issued a social security number, please note that in your request)
– All addresses where you have lived during the past two years
– One copy of a government issued identification card, such as a driver’s license or state ID card, etc.
– One copy of a utility bill, bank or insurance statement, etc.
– List each item on your report that you believe is inaccurate, the account number and the specific reason you feel the information is incorrect.

Step 5 – Place said letter with supporting documentation in an envelope.

Step 6 – Write your return address and the address of the agency on the envelope.

Step 7 – Place a stamp in the upper right hand corner of the envelope.

Step 8 – Place the envelope into a mailbox.

Step 9 – Wait for the response letter from the agency.

Step 10 – Jump for joy or respond to response letter.


Pretty simple, right? “OK KnowitAll, I’ve read your stupid F****ING Guide and my credit report is 100% accurate. What the F**K do I do now?” Don’t worry…I have another guide for that.


Let’s go way back to this post where you had an AMEX card with a $10K limit and banged the hell out of it like it was a chick with a huge rack, slim waist, great ass and the face of a goddess. Hold on….I’m many things but not a sexist so for you ladies who are reading this post I’ll rephrase. Let’s go way back to this post where you had an AMEX card with a $10K limit and banged the hell out of it like it was….(INSERT WHATEVER YOU LIKE HERE.)

What you want to look for is accurate information that is being reported more than it should be. Using the $10K Amex card example let’s say that Amex sold the debt to a collection agency who sold the debt who sold the debt who sold the debt. You look at your FREE CREDIT REPORT and see that it is indeed a collection account you owe but it’s being reported by FIVE (5) different collection companies but it’s the same debt. Only ONE (1) collection company can collect the debt yet the same debt is being repeated over and over again. That scenario is screwing up your credit score so admit to the debt but state that it is being over reported as just one of these account can have a tremendous impact on your score. Although you actually owe the collection account in your letter state the other collection accounts are actually one in the same and that you need those other FOUR (4) collection accounts removed. Once those 4 collection accounts are removed it will have a positive impact on your credit score.

Okay so earlier in this post I wrote that there is not a credit repair company on the face of the planet that can “permanently” erase accurate information. This is fact yet there are many credit repair companies that promise to raise your credit score. How can a credit repair company promise to raise your credit score even if they can’t have accurate information removed?

The credit reporting agencies have 30 days to respond to your dispute or 45 days if you have obtained a copy of your free credit report. What the credit reporting agencies do when they receive your dispute is to contact the creditor. If the creditor fails to respond within the 30 day or 45 day timeframe the account must be removed from your credit report. I own a credit repair company and sing my own praises by stating “I just raised your score 30 points!” In reality I did raise your credit score but I didn’t say for how long. Lets say the creditor responds TWO (2) months later with supporting evidence that the account is indeed yours. The credit reporting agency simply puts the negative account back onto your credit profile thus bringing your score back down to where is was supposed to be to begin with. Congratulations…..you just paid me for no reason!

The bottom line is that if your credit score sucks and your credit report is 100% accurate the only thing that is going to help improve your credit score is time! Yup there are no tips or secrets that is going to take you from a 550 credit score to 800 if all of the information on your credit report is accurate. However, here are a few things that you can do to help improve the situation.

1. If you have a family member that has excellent credit ask that that person include you as an authorized user on his or her account. Once the person does this for you that account and most importantly payment history will appear on your credit report thus making it seem that you are a responsible human being. Your family member or friend knows you’re not so simply tell that person to destroy the card once it comes. Sure you won’t be able to use it but it will help you.

2. If you have a ton of collection accounts paying them off is not going to improve your credit score. However if you want to be responsible and take ownership of your debt and pay the collection accounts off. However, NEVER EVER EVER pay the actual amount. Open a line of communication, admit that the debt is yours and state that you want to take care of it. The collection agency will settle for a lesser amount meaning that in most cases you can settle a $2,000 collection account for hundreds. Best of all many will enter into a repayment agreement along you to spread the payment amounts across a few months maybe even a year. Keep in mind that many employer now as part of their hiring process obtain your credit report. Having terrible credit isn’t a crime but would you be more willing to hire someone who takes accountability or a person who just shrugs his or her shoulders? At least you can stop those collection calls from coming in daily.

3. Obtain a secured credit card. A secured credit card is pretty much the same as a pre paid debit card. You pay the credit card company a one time fee of say $100 and send in a check for $300. You now have a $300 credit limit. If you place a charge on the account you must pay the bill the same way you would pay an unsecured credit card. The credit reporting agencies will place that account on your credit profile. After a while you will start getting offers for unsecured or regular credit cards again. An unsecured credit card is a great way to help improve your credit standing.

So the above is why I feel that paying for credit repair is stupid. However, you may not feel the same way. Maybe you feel you just don’t have the time or simply prefer to have a company take care of the dispute process for you. At minimum I hope this post has improved your knowledge of credit reporting, credit scoring and how to dispute errors.


If anyone has ever dealt with Con Edison this post should be nothing new. Con Edison is in fact one of the many things that make me detest living in New York City. Today, being May 1st I sat down on my laptop to pay those bills that never seem to go away. Normally I just pay my level payment plan installment amount without ever opening a statement but today I actually decided to open my Con Edison bill and read it and what I read has me fucking furious!

I have an energy supplier that is not Con Edison. Pretty straight forward for 414 kWh I had to pay a customer charge of $0, a supply cost of $41.36 @9.9900 and sales tax @4.5% for a grand total of $43.22. No problem here but that’s only supply charges what about delivery charges?

Flipping over my Con Edison bill and reading it is what brought this post about. Charges…..

1. Basic Service Charge – Charge for basic system infrastructure and customer-related services, including customer accounting, meter reading and meter maintenance – $16.81 – Not sure how the fuck a meter is maintained but considering they actually read my meter every other month how much maintaining is actually needed?

2. Delivery 414 kWh @11.2295 – Charge for maintaining the system through which Con Edison delivers electricity to you. – $46.49 – Now hold on for just one fucking minute! I paid $41.36 for the actual electricity but am paying $46.49 to have the electricity delivered to me? How in the fuck does this make any sort of fucking sense? That’s like ordering a pizza for $16 and having to pay and additional $18 to have the fucking pizza delivered to your door. That’s like ordering a shirt for $50 online and paying and additional $55 to the company for shipping the fucking shirt! FUCK YOU CON EDISON!

3. System Benefit Charge @0.6691 kWh – The System Benefits Charge recovers costs associated with clean energy activities conducted by the New York State Energy Research and Development Authority (NYSERDA) and energy efficiency programs implemented by the Company. – $2.77 – So Con Edison has to pay New York State and probably required Con Edison to implement programs so instead of just absorbing the cost they feel it necessary to pass on the cost to me?! Seriously?! FUCK YOU CON EDISON!!

4. Temporary NY State Surcharge @0.1256 kWh – Covers new fees imposed by the state – $0.52 – Again, instead of absorbing the charge Con Edison is charging me for it! FUCK YOU CON EDISON!!!

5. GRT & other tax surcharges – Taxes on Con Edison gross receipts from sales of utility services and other tax surcharges – $3.40 – FUCK!!!!!!!!!
Again Con Edison has to pay taxes and AGAIN instead of absorbing this cost they are AGAIN charging me for it! FUCK YOU CON EDISON!!!!

6. Sales tax @ 4.50% – Tax collected on behalf of New York City – $3.15

Total DELIVERY CHARGES = $73.14!!!!

My total Con Edison Electricity Bill for March of 2017 = $116.36!

OK….so I just paid $43.22 for the electricity I used for the month of March but it cost me an additional $73.14 to have the electricity delivered to me which included taxes and fees that Con Edison must pay but instead of absorbing this cost they simply FORCE me to pay it for them!! What really pisses me off is that I have to pay Con Edison a tax for their gross receipts! Fucking seriously?!

WHAT A FUCKING RIPOFF!!!! Over 60% of my fucking Con Edison bill is made of delivery fees, taxes and surcharges on the fucking electricity that I used! I wish that I can say that I’m surprised but I’m not. A huge part of living in New York City is knowing you’re getting fucked for your hard earned money for pretty much everything so why would electricity be any different?

With that being said I have only four more words left……. FUCK YOU CON EDISON!!!!!

My $1 Business Review – How Many People Can You Talk into Spending $1?

I’m always on the lookout for ways to make an extra $1 or 2 and I’ve found it with My $1 Business. Historically I’ve been against MLM (Multi Level Marketing) but the My $1 Business is so simple and easy I wish I would gave come up with the idea!

Think about how much we spend on a monthly basis on the simple things in life. A bottle of soda, a cup of coffee, gum, energy drinks, etc. Crap…. I pay $197 a month for cable and I’m never home to watch it. It costs me $1 to park my car on a city street for a freaking hour!

What do you get for $1. Stop being lazy and find out for yourself! If you’ve come across this blog post and expect me to do all the leg work for you I’m sorry but it’s not going to happen. If you want to start a business and $1 is too much for you to even get the most basic of information than you are unworthy of starting a business.

However, if you are able to talk only 2 people into spending $1 you’re not even spending a $1. Simply getting 2 people to enter the business for $1 a month means you pay nothing.

Okay I’ll be 100% transparent. The only reason I joined the My $1 Business Opportunity is to get my FREE 5 STAR LUXURY VACATION. That means I only have to talk 10 people into joining at $1 a month and have a total of 100 or more people on my team. YOU HAVE GOT BE FREAKING KIDDING ME! Forget talking 10 people into spending $1 a month. All I have to do is talk 100 people into spending $1 a month and get a free 5 STAR LUXURY VACATION? So simple I may as well as get talked into walking and chewing gum at the same time.

Is their work involved? ABSOLETLY! Yes, you have to talk people into why spending a $1 per month is good for them! So what do these people get for their $1? They get $700 in multi use coupons that can save them $10 or more per month plus an app that allows them to scan their receipts for cash rebates!

Think about the My $1 Business opportunity logically. If I asked you to give me $1 and I would give you $10 back would you do it? HECK, If I asked you to give me $1 and I would give you back $1.50 would you do it? I would like to think that you have an ounce of intelligence in your body so I’ll assume the answer is yes!

Obviously you’ve come to this blog post seeking information on the My $1 Business opportunity but if I haven’t given enough information than you might as well ask a person on the street to punch you in the face for $1 with no repercussion. Better yet ask the same person to give you $1, punch you in the face and have you pay them $10!!!!!

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. I’ve lead you into spending $1 in order to get a 5 STAR LUXURY VACATION! Will you drink?!

I WOULD LIKE A DRINK to join now.


Time after time I have to look at idiotic postings on blogs, Facebook and Twitter that have a recurring theme……#trumpisnotmypresident.

NEWSFLASH!!!!! Trump won the election in close to a freaking landslide! To you crying liberal jackasses it doesn’t matter that he lost the popular vote by 2,864,974 votes! The fact of the matter is that Trump won 30 states compared to Hillary’s 20 + DC. How could it be that Hillary garnered so many more votes but lost 30 states? DUH….it’s the reason for the Electoral College! Without the Electoral College California and New York would elect a Democratic President every 4 freaking years.

It amazes me that people are so upset! People across the country continue to protest? What in the hell are these people protesting? A fair election that was won by the candidate these people didn’t want to win? President Trump won more states (30) than President Obama did in 2012 (26 + DC) and in 2008 (28 + DC). In fact Obama lost the popular vote to Hillary in the 2008 Primaries! Where were you protesters…I mean terrorists back than? Yes I said terrorists!! Peaceful protests don’t erupt in to full fledged riots complete with beatings, breaking shit and setting fires!

Seriously people….a Women’s Rights March on January 21, 2017….one day after President Trumps inauguration? I find it irritating and quite disturbing that so many people chose to protest President Trump under the guise of Women’s rights! The Women’s Rights movement started in 1848!!! Back than Women of this country had to deal with the following:

– Married women were legally dead in the eyes of the law.
– Women were not allowed to vote.
– Women had to submit to laws when they had no voice in their formation.
– Married women had no property rights.
– Husbands had legal power over and responsibility for their wives to the extent that they could imprison or beat them with impunity.
– Divorce and child custody laws favored men, giving no rights to women.
– Women had to pay property taxes although they had no representation in the levying of these taxes.
– Most occupations were closed to women and when women did work they were paid only a fraction of what men earned.
– Women were not allowed to enter professions such as medicine or law.
– Women had no means to gain an education since no college or university would accept women students.
– With only a few exceptions, women were not allowed to participate in the affairs of the church.
– Women were robbed of their self-confidence and self-respect, and were made totally dependent on men.

Are any of the above issues that Women deal with in 2017?! Of freaking course not yet that didn’t stop hundreds of thousands if not millions of cry babies from protesting Trump under the guise Women’s rights!

#trumpisnotmypresident? Well do you live in the United States? Does the United States have more than one President? Sorry to tell you that Trump is your President as in #trumpismypresident! You don’t have to agree with his policies or even like him personally but what you have to do is stop being foolish and accept that one Donald John Trump is the 45th President of our United States the same way that people who did not vote for Obama in either election didn’t whine and cry about it. Instead of trying to divide the country why don’t people unite? Unfortunately it’s because the majority of people in this country are simply STUPID.

I’m More Pissed Off Than Ever!

Amazing what a short few months can do to a person. Back in June 2016 I posted an article with a title of “I’m Not Ass Pissed Off Lately.” Here I am in Late October of 2016 and I seem to be more pissed off than ever!!

I WANT A FUCKING HOUSE! I was born in a house, raised in a house and once I married I moved to a small one bedroom apartment. I now own a “fantastic” 980 square foot condominium. It’s too small and I would love to move. I would not have a problem selling it but where in the fuck would I move to?! I have to stay in New York City for my job as well as my wife’s and even if I do sell my tiny shit hole condominium for top dollar I cannot afford to purchase a house in my own fucking neighborhood. $850,000+ for a single family, attached home with no garage? You have to be kidding me. Who in the hell would pay that much for a house that also need $100,000+ of work just to make it comparable to where the fuck I live now!!!!

SICK AND TIRED OF WORK!! Nothing like taking my tired ass to work day after fucking day to the tune of 18.5 HOURS EVERY FUCKING DAY. 1 hour set aside to commute, 16.5 hours of work, sit in traffic for an hour sometime an hour plus just to take a shit, eat dinner, take a shower, get a few hours of sleep if I’m lucky and do it all over again! My job consumes every facet of my life. “Hey KnowItAll….stop bitching and get another job!” Sure if it was that fucking easy. There is not a place on fucking earth that would pay me as much and give me a pension as well. I’m too fucking old to go back to Corporate America only to get my ass laid off in my mid 50’s! There’d be nothing like unemployment as a 52 year old trying to get a job where there is nothing but shitty jobs available.

SICK AND TIRED OF NEW YORK CITY!!! Why in the fuck is New York City so fucking expensive? I don’t get it. In Brooklyn we have the most unaffordable housing market but we also have one of the poorest counties in the country in the Bronx. It costs $8 fucking dollars to cross the White Stone Bridge, RFK Bridge, Throgs Neck Bridge and the Midtown Tunnel but if you have EZ pass that figure drops to an affordable $5.54?! Yeah I have EZ Pass but $11.08 just to make a 20 minute round trip from Queens to the Bronx and back? imagine if you live in the Bronx and worked in Queens or vice versa you would be spending $277 a fucking month in tolls. If you get the standard 2 weeks of vacation and never call in sick your yearly total for just tolls would be over $2,700 a year! Fuck driving I’ll just take the train. Sure but train fare is going up to $3 a fucking ride in 2017. Even without the train fare raise due to go into effect a 30 day Metro Card costs $116.50 right now! So if you have to take the train to work and get the standard 2 weeks vacation and never call in sick you would be spending over $1,300 in train fare!! In 2016 the median income for a family of four across New York City is $90,600. Let’s say you have an awesome accountant and your effective tax rate is 26% that would leave you with around $67,000 in gross income or $5,583.33 per month. Lets say you cram both kids into 1 bedroom so you have a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere in Queens for around $2,200 per month. Not too bad as it’s only a little under 40% of your gross income to put a roof over your fucking head! Deducting rent you are now down to $3,833.33. Let’s throw in another $100 per month for Electricity to Con Ed, $100 a month for basic Cable with Time Warner and $150 for a cell phone family plan and we’re down to $3,533.33. Let’s say you and the wife commute to Manhattan for work every day so lets deduct another $233 a month for Metro Cards and we’re looking at $3,300.33. Ah shit…people have to eat and feed their kids so lets say another $500 a month in groceries leaving us with $2,800.33. So a little over $2,800 left over each month not taking into account gift giving, personal care, clothing and entertainment. Also not taking into account as to whether the family four owns a car which may or may not have a monthly payment but would have a monthly payment of car insurance as well as spending money on gasoline. Its a fucking miracle that people are able to get by at all in New York City!!

FUCKING CAR INSURANCE!!! I don’t drive a fucking Lambo and my wife doesn’t drive a Ferrari so why in the fuck am I spending over $3,300 a year on car insurance! I haven’t had a car accident in over 20 years! My wife did have an accident but it was a NO FAULT ACCIDENT and that was well over 2 years ago yet still I’m getting banged for over $280 a month in car insurance. Better yet this is the cheapest fucking car insurance I can get for full coverage on 2 cars. I shopped around until I was tired of shopping around only to ultimately find that there is no car insurance company in the fucking country that can give me cheaper car insurance than the $3,300+ a fucking year I’m paying now! What’s even more ridiculous is that I was actually spending over $330 a month until I decided to get rid of my sports sedan and get something a bit more economical and affordable. What’s crazy is that New York City is supposedly 13th in car insurance premiums. If I lived in Detroit I would probably go on a shooting spree but than again I could buy a nice house in Detroit for around $150K.

I could continue to write but I would think you all get the gist as to why I’m more pissed off than ever.


I love cars and I love performance but it seems the American automotive industry is missing something and something obvious. Where in the hell can I buy an AWD Performance Muscle Car that doesn’t cost over $80,000!?

I have a job where regardless of weather, I’m expected to faithfully and dutifully show up for work. I love AMERICAN MUSCLE but what I don’t and wouldn’t love is trying to get to work in a foot of snow in a rear wheel drive (RWD) monster around a tight corner.

I’ve read ridiculous crap online such as that “True American muscle is a rear wheel drive (RWD) car that produces 400+ horsepower (HP) that was inspired by the muscle car era of the 70’s.” We’re in 2016 so why not redefine American Muscle? Why can’t the new American Muscle be redefined as American Performance that isn’t rear wheel drive (RWD)?

For those of us who have to get to work “no matter what” or who live in areas where snowfall is as common as breathing there are few options for American made all wheel drive (AWD) performance vehicles. There’s the AWD Dodge Charger that is the size of a small fortress and the $80,000+ Cadillac CTS-V. Of course you can get a Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT but it’s a truck and AWD. An AWD truck is as common as a peanut butter and jelly also commonly known as a 4×4.

As far as I’m concerned, the only true performance AWD car is the Subaru WRX, especially since Mitsubishi no longer makes Ralliart editions. Performance wise it fits the bill but in my opinion it’s ugly as hell. It’s like having a girlfriend with a 4 inch waist, double D’s and a nice round rump but you only want to be seen with her in public if she has a paper bag over her head.

I’ve always wanted a Ford Mustang. It growls, looks pissed off and screams “Get the hell out of my way!” but of course its only available in rear wheel drive (RWD). The Ford Focus ST looks awesome and I would buy one in a heart beat if I could get an automatic! While I’m at it why in the hell is it that performance has to be with a manual transmission? Super Cars of this era have automatic transmissions! Know why? The automatic transmission can shift faster, more smoothly and provide better performance that any person manually shifting the transmission!! If you don’t agree than I suggest you argue with Lamborghini and Ferrari who no longer offer manual transmissions!!! What I want is a badass looking, automatic, all wheel drive (AWD) American made performance car that as of this posting doesn’t exist. If it did it could be called the NEW AMERICAN MUSCLE CAR!!!

If you don’t thinks there’s a market for an AWD performance vehicle Subaru will beg to differ as they sold over 30,000 Subaru WRX/STI’s in 2015 and as of September 2016 have sold over 25,000. Granted the Subaru STI only comes in manual but the WRX can be purchased as an automatic. Why can’t an American automaker do the same thing? There is news that Dodge will be making an AWD V6 Challenger which I’m excited about but of course the Challenger is a coupe and I need a freaking sedan. The up and coming Ford Focus RS fits the bill as it’s mean looking and all wheel drive (AWD) but it only comes with a manual transmission!!

I guess I’ll just have to keep waiting or settle for a rice eater!!!!

Proving Stupidity is Contagious!