As a dude, your vehicle as in an extension of your long appendage. The time in your car from the commute to and from work is YOUR TIME. The time when you leave all the things that have pissed you off and are pissing you off in the rear view mirror. You get into your car, turn over the engine and enjoy the drive. However, it absolutely sucks that you can’t enjoy the drive as the drive sucks!

My shit beater is running great as I keep up with the usual maintenance. The problem is I never wanted the car to begin with and only purchased it as I got a super sick deal and it was the “responsible” purchase. I had small child at the time and needed something large enough to safely transport a young one along with tons of young one shit need when making any sort of trip so I pulled the trigger.

Fast forward almost 8 years later and the damn ride is aesthetically beat to hell. Dings, dents, scratches and the normal crap that those of us who own a vehicle in New York City deal with on a daily basis. I HATE MY FUCKING CAR!! Sure it runs great but going 0-60 in 10 fucking seconds sucks. Having a full load of passengers and feeling the strain of the engine sucks. In fact the only good thing about the beast is that it’s 100% mine and I don’t miss the payments. However, from time to time I dream of blowing the fucking thing to bits and purchasing a vehicle I WANT. You know the car that has you looking forward to your commute. The car that allows you to blow past people from a dead stop. The car that is you. Than I start to look at the prices of new and used cars and become thankful that I have my shit beater. Whether new or used CARS ARE TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE!!!!

Year after year the prices of new and used vehicles climb and IMHO look like shit! I can barely find a car that I find visually appealing and has the performance I would want in another car. All I want is a small car with a kick ass engine, a sweet sound system and a sun roof. Instead the options are a compact car with 120 HP for around $18K, a mid size cookie cutter family transport in the mid to high $30’s or a luxury vehicle in the $40K price range that has the performance but options I don’t want or feel I never ever would need.

Heck, even looking at used cars is a fucking joke. Yes, I can get a car that sold for over $32K 4 years ago and pay $20K for the same car 4 years later with a super low 70,000 miles! WTF! I realize I am getting older and everything is getting more and more expensive but this shit is crazy! The economy sucks, people are struggling to find work, student loan debt is through the roof, home prices are fucking insane and finding an awesome car at a reasonable price is damn near impossible!


1. Compact car that has a mid size feeling.
2. A kick ass engine! 240+ HP with matching torque would be cool. Heck, turbo charge it to boot.
3. A loud ass system so I can listen my music.
4. Making it look mean!

I don’t give a flying fuck about heated seats and mirrors, bluetooth connectivity, parking assistance, satellite radio or drive assist. I don’t need an in seat massager to rub my ass while battling traffic. All I want is the 5 fucking things posted above. That’s all I want instead all I get is…..

Only $35,000! It can be yours for $450 a month or  take a low mileage lease for $300 a month!

Only $35,000! It can be yours for $450 a month or take a low mileage lease for $300 a month!