The world’s first man and woman. God decided to created Adam to give him dominion over everything that God created as well as to be the groundskeeper of the Garden of Eden. Where is the Garden of Eden? Why so worried about details? Anyway, God decides that it’s not fair for Adam to be alone so he makes Adam go to sleep and grabs one of his ribs to create Eve. Of course, everything was going along nicely until Eve gets seduced by a talking serpent. I don’t know about you but I’ve never seen a talking serpent. The serpent just happens to be Satan himself and Eve decides to eat from the tree of knowledge but also talks Adam into doing the same. What a bitch! Great, now sin and death have entered the world. All Adam and Eve had to do was populate the world but that had to eat some damn mysterious fruit to create death and sin. Anyway God decides that all is not lost. God would in the future send someone to make things right as in the one and Only Jesus Christ. In the meantime if Adam and Eve wanted to approach God they would only have to sacrifice an animal.
So what’s the problem? Well for starters Adam lived to be a ripe old age of NINE HUNDRED AND THIRTY YEARS OLD! For those of you with reading comprehension problems that’s 930 years old. How long did Eve live to be? No clue, there’s no mention of how old she was when she croaked in the “HOLY” texts. Anyway back in those days since it was not uncommon for people to live close to 1,000 years, let’s say that Eve could spit out a kid every week for 900 years. That would be 46,800 kids. (That’s 52 weeks of the year multiplied by 900 years.) Forgetting the breakdown boy to girl ratio one thing is for certain. Brothers were banging sisters, cousins were banging cousins and whatever your perverted minds can think of. So I guess we are all related in one way or another.
You would think that God had thought of genetic defects and would have given some instructions on how to inbreed. Now this gives rise to another question. Why is inbreeding illegal in the grand old U S of A? I mean it was all fine and dandy when God allowed it to happen but not so much now? Cool, don’t bang your sister but bang your 5th cousin on your mothers side.
Is it just me or does this story not seem too well thought out? Wait, before I start getting emails on how the Bible doesn’t state that “others” weren’t created I’ll ask why was it left out? If that was left out what else could have been left out? Perhaps the story of Oreana who was able to give birth to a child every hour for 3,000 years without every having to engage in intercourse, whose offspring made it impossible for birth defects as each child had distinct and drastically different DNA.
The story of Adam and Eve LOL!!!!!!!!! People must have been dumb thousands of years ago but even more so in the year 2013 to actually belive in this crap.
Yes I know! By claiming that religion is stupidity at it’s finest I’ve booked a first class ticket to some magical afterworld where it’s super hot and some fallen angel with horns gets to torment me for the rest of eternity.
Doesn’t change my humble opinion that organized religion for the lack of a better term is stupid. It’s been a long time coming but StupidityIsContagious.com now has a new category devoted solely to the stupidity of religion.
I oh so look forward to the tons of hate email soon to be arriving in my in box. I have a ton to say about organized religion and how religion in general is oh so STUPID.
Being a lifelong New Yorker I’ve decided to create this post to deter anyone thinking about moving to the “City That Never Sleeps” in the hope that I can save a few people from making a HUGE mistake. Since I’ve never lived anywhere else it would be easy to deem this post as simple “NYC Hate” but I don’t hate New York City….I simply dislike it and dislike for a variety of reasons. You may be a recent college graduate, a person who has always dreamed of living here or simply a person looking to make it here because making it here means you can make in anywhere. So with no further ado here are a few reasons why to stay far away from New York City;
1. The M.T.A.! They have us New Yorker’s by the, for lack of a better term, nut sack. It’s pretty simple when the MTA starts running low on funds they simply increase rates. Why? Millions of commuters who rely on the transit system and millions of drivers who need to cross bridges. They simply keep raising fares and tolls because millions of New Yorkers have no choice but to pony up the extra dollars. How bad is it? Let’s say you would like to go from Queens to the Bronx and back. Only $15 round trip! Of course if you have EZ Pass it’s only $10.66.
2. New York, New York the City that never sleeps. They may have referred to the night life in the past but can now represent what you would have to do in order to purchase a home in Manhattan….work, work and work. Why? Median sales price for a home in Manhattan is only $1,100,000! Of course if you would like AFFORDABLE housing go out to Long Island and you’ll only have to drop around $400,000. Of course you can choose to rent an apartment in Manhattan and it will only cost you a little under $4,000 a month.
3. Manhattan ranks #1 in cost of living, Brooklyn #2 and Queens #6 as the places to live with the highest cost of living. If you can’t afford Manhattan or Brooklyn but Queens is more than doable you may be better off heading to Honolulu Hawaii, San Francisco California or San Jose California.
4. Middle class living at only $102,000 per year. That’s right ladies and gentleman, if you would like to join the “middle class” in New York City you only need to rake in a measly six figure income. Of course with a median income of around $48,000 per year per household few belong the middle class. Even with a six figure income most are just above broke.
5. Our fantastic job market has the unemployment rate hovering right around 9%! Listen to the politician and the media and they’d have you think that New York City is flowing with jobs. Sure the jobs are flowing but good paying jobs are not. There’s no way to make it in this city by flipping burgers or making sandwiches unless you can get on section 8 and WIC!
I could continue but the above should scare the ever living crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
I don’t see what the big deal is. Steve loves John, John loves Steve. Why shouldn’t John and Steve be allowed to get married so they can enjoy the same legal protections afforded to Sue and Dave? For some reason, this topic brings out the worst in people and I have heard the most idiotic reasons why gay couples should not be allowed to get married. Keeping to the standards of my blog I’ve decided to post just a few of my favorite idiotic views that opponents of gay marriage continuously use.
#1 – If gay people are allowed to marry what’s next, people marrying horses?!
Marriage is a legally binding contract. As such you need two consenting adults to enter in a contract. As we all know horses, dogs, cats, pigs, cows and such are not capable of signing a document nor are capable of providing consent. Now if the horse happens to be Mr. Ed he can provide the yay or nay.
#2 – Marriage in this country has always been between a man and a woman!
Things in this great country of ours do change. Why not change once again? Of course we can leave it alone like abolishing slavery and allowing women the right to vote.
#3 – Marriages are for procreation and deserves special social recognition!
One does not need to be married in order to procreate. Just ask all the single baby mommas walking around the country.
#4 – God is not in favor of gay marriage!
Really, has anyone spoken to God and asked for his/her/it’s opinion?
#5 – Allowing gay people to marry will be the downfall of our society!
LOL! In what freaking way? Oh, I know! Gay people will adopt children thus causing those children to become gay. Those gay children who are now gay adults will then adopt more children causing them to be gay and bang….before you know it our society will become overrun with gays!
#6 – Marriage is defined as a union between a man and a woman!
And gay was defined as being joyful, glee and happy until the 1920’s and didn’t hold its existing definition until the 1950’s although the word gay goes all the way back to around 12th century England.
Stupidity at its finest ladies and gentlemen! I will now eagerly wait for the ton of asinine comments that will be arriving.