Nothing sells better than fear and this company is trying to corner the market.  What’s the fear? Hunger and possible starvation. What are they selling? Emergency supplies of freeze dried food.  In the event of a 2nd Katrina, you can have 2 week’s worth of freeze dried food for the super low price of $199.99 with their Emergency Pack. Best of all, the food is great tasting and on average only needs 1 cup of water to prepare.

However, in case something catastrophic happens you’ll need much more than a measly 2 week supply of food. Luckily they also offer a long term Emergency Food Supply Option.  For those of you who like to live in fear and would like to have the ultimate in peace of mind you can purchase a 2,528 entrée package for the price of $6,299.99. Wow, only $2.49 for a delicious gourmet freeze dried meal that only needs on average 1 cup of water.   I need to sign up ASAP but I won’t as I’m not mentally challenged.

Why would you be mentally challenged for signing up Food Insurance? Well, what if you only purchase a 2 week emergency pack and the “emergency” lasts 4 months? There are different factors to take into consideration to arrive at an actual date of when you can possibly starve to death but ultimately a person should be able starve to death within 4 months.  Congratulations, you just blew $199.99 plus any applicable tax and shipping to make sure you live for an extra 2 weeks before you starve to death.

Now let’s take a look at the ultimate in idiocy; the Emergency Food Supply Option. Why is it idiotic? Let’s say you’re single and purchase the ultimate 2,528 entrée’s. If you limit yourself to one meal a day you should be able to eat for a little under 7 years and all you need is on average 1 measly cup of water. This catastrophic event has somehow decimated the food supply but luckily there’s plenty of water.  Surely, there is no way that the water supply would be affected as well.  If such a catastrophic event did happen you would need the following to happen to assure survival!

  1. You need to survive the event.
  2. Your freeze dried food supply storage area would have to survive. The supply must be kept in a cool, dry place where the temperature does not go above 75 degree for a prolonged amount of time. Surely, these ideal conditions can be met in a catastrophe.
  3. You’ll need 158 gallons or more of water in order to consume all meals.
  4. You need to have the ability to watch other survivors starve to death.

So what do you think about Food Insurance? Am I a mentally challenged idiot for thinking that I would have to be a mentally challenged idiot for not getting it?