Yes I know, historically those of the Christian, Muslim and Jewish faiths have not seen eye to eye. Jewish people believe that Jesus is not the son of God. Muslims believe that Jesus was also not the son of God. Christians believe that Muhammad is a false prophet and that the Old Testament went away as soon as Jesus, God.. the son of God… whatever the holy trinity is makes the Jewish faith moot.

What in the world could make millions of people of differing faiths come together? It could be something of historical significance such as a grail. It could be the arrival of a magnificent beings from elsewhere. Let your imaginations run wild. For this man the one thing that could bring everyone together is BACON!!!!


Yes I know that those of Muslim faith and those of Jewish faith are strictly forbidden from eating the other white meat. However, that has not stopped those from either faith partaking in the eating of shellfish although some thousand year old texts state that they should not. Yes clams, mussels and oysters are delicious. However, the most delicious tasting things on our planet, as far as I’m concerned is BACON!

Those of you who love bacon know exactly what I’m talking about. For those of you who know nothing about what I’m talking about than your life has been missing something….the delicious experience of tasting a perfectly cooked, crispy yet tender piece of bacon melt in your mouth with your breakfast or burger. Seriously, God can unleash tornadoes, hurricanes, cancer, aids and all other types of shit upon us. We must be grateful and not eat shellfish. Everyone eats shellfish yet 2 of the 3 largest religions have millions upon millions of people who have never hade the orgasmic experience that is bacon?

Fuck, bacon would create peace in Israel. Bacon would stop virgins from strapping bombs on themselves and running into malls with the promise of being able to fuck virgins upon death. (You’re dead asshole…no fucking for you but that’s another post.) Bacon quite conceivably could create peace on earth.

Listen, KnowItAll, knows best and he says that if you’re Jewish or Muslim stop what you’re doing right now, run out and buy bacon. You’ll thank me in the long run. God is an asshole but he can’t be that much of an asshole to forbid the eating of the most delicious thing on our planet!!!!!!!!!!