As owner and president of Super Douche, Inc. it is my mission to assure that my company receives more in “just in case” premiums than I pay out. You’re young and in good health so I’ll just charge you a “reasonable” premium in the case you become ill and need to seek medical care. The older you are the more likely you are to become ill so I’ll charge you more as you are more likely to need medical care.

However, in the event that either the young and in good health people and the older and more likely to become ill people are diagnosed with something serious I simply put in a clause which states that should your medical expenses exceed x amount of dollars they’ll be cut off. For fuck sake, I just want to make money and regardless of your age if you become sick and need serious care, which costs a shitload of money, I need to protect Super Douche, Inc. from going under.

After all Super Douche, Inc. is an insurance company. The bottom line is I need take in more than I pay out and if you’re sick and will die as a result of not receiving the care you need to live that’s your fucking problem!!! It’s not my fault that you went over your cap and that you didn’t set aside the half a million dollars you need in order to live. Blame your genes and your lifestyle asshole….Super Douche, Inc. will continue to thrive minus your non premium paying ass. Do not pass go, do not collect money just fucking drop dead as you’re ruining my risk analysis.

That’s the health care industry in a nutshell.