Life Sucks?! Think Again…..

We all have those days and times when we think that life sucks. However, when you find yourself in that frame of mind it’s make it much easier to swallow when you can take a deep breath, exhale and realize no matter how bad and how hopeless you may feel at that particular moment in time there are a shitload of people who would gladly exchange places with you if given the chance. Believe me I know how much life can suck and how it feels to find yourself in utter despair but each day is an opportunity to turn things around. Don’t believe me? Try this life on for size.

Your grandfather dies from cancer. Your grandmother kicks the bucket on Christmas day later that same year. Your uncle dies of cancer not even a year later. Your other uncle also dies of cancer not even a year from the time your other uncle died from the same disease. Yeah that sucks but then your other uncle dies from a brain tumor. Your mother dies from cancer before before you make your 23rd birthday. Your brother is murdered not even a year later. Thankfully you married a woman who is everything you ever wanted. She’s smart, pretty and comes from a great family. After a few years of marriage you decide to try for a child and after months and months of trying the child is coming. Unfortunately the child is supposedly underweight and there is a good chance that the child will be born with down syndrome. Your father after having lived through all of this shit luckily makes retirement. As he begins to enjoy the work free lifestyle he suffers a stroke and is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life and lives on as a prisoner in his own body. Prior to the stroke your father married your mothers best friend, not for love but to help her out. She’s about to divorce him but when he suffers the stroke she gets $$$ in her eyes and fights you tooth and nail when you attempt to protect your fathers assets, prenuptial agreement be damned. You own a business and are less than a month away from being 100% debt free and 100% liquid but the industry in which you make your livelihood crashes leaving you with no other choice but to declare bankruptcy. Instead of going on your planned trip with your business partner to the Bahamas where you would sip fruity drinks and have a great time pissing away your hard earned money you instead find yourself trying to make a dollar from 15 fucking cents.

Yup, the above is the life that I have lived with a bunch of more fucked up moments than I care to disclose at this moment. What I’m getting at is that it would have been easy for me to throw my hands in the air and say “Fuck it, I’m done!” There were times when I felt as if I were cursed and no matter what I did to try to change my situation the cards were stacked against me. I would get knocked down, brush myself off and get knocked down again and again. I’m not a religious person but it felt as I was living in purgatory. It felt as if there was no way out!

I don’t remember exactly when it happened but it happened. It was a moment of clarity that allowed me to sleep peacefully for the first time in a long time and when I awoke from my sleep I felt as if I could conquer the world. It’s called STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! I realized that no matter how bad I felt my life was up until that point that there were a shitload of people that would gladly exchange places with me.

Death is a part of life and a certainty.

My mother died. – There are thousands of people who wish they would have been able to meet their mothers! I was privileged to not only have her in my life but to simply have her. I had her for 22 years which is more than many people can say.

My brother was murdered. – He is gone but not forgotten. I miss him everyday of my life. He protected me, taught me things that I will never forget and help mold me into the person that I am. His memory lives on through my child who carries my brothers name as his middle name. Whenever I play catch with my kid I remember who it was who taught me to catch and throw.

My business went bankrupt. – Shit happens. At least I had the experience of running my own business. Fuck, I had the balls to go out on my own which many people would never dare to do. There was nothing I could have done differently. It was a simple matter of circumstance. Business is about timing and the timing just happened to be off. I could drive myself crazy thinking about what could have been or simply accept it for what it was and is. I decided to choose the later.

Life sucks?! Think again. I felt life was hopeless but today I am thankful for the trials and tribulations I lived through and find myself in peace. I am thankful and happy with where my life is today. I have a beautiful wife who is also my best friend. I look forward to growing old with her and will hopefully have her by my side when it is time for me to leave this earth. I have an awesome kid and I look forward to raising him so that he can be everything that I’m not and provide for him so that his life will be easier than that of my own. I have a career and I’m steadily climbing to a six figure salary. I may never be rich but I will be able to live comfortably. I will be able to help those who I love financially in the future and look forward to doing so.

You may be way a was not too long ago but stay positive and keep pushing forward. Things will get better….I’m living proof.

3 thoughts on “Life Sucks?! Think Again…..

  • Sue Pridgen

    I agree. All of the things mentioned were terrible.
    Mine started when I was 5. I can list them. But what would be the point. I would be labeled “feeling sorry for myself.” I was diagnosed as depressed at age 16. I wasn’t in need of medication, just someone to talk things out with. Few months later I was fine. She asked me what I thought happened to make me get to that point. I labeled myself as feeling sorry for myself. I’m 52 now. My life has been 1 up and down after the other. The happiest time in my life was when I was married. He was the last boyfriend I had. We became best friends. Dated 3 years. Married out of HS. Had 2 sons. My husband and I worked for the same company for 14 years. We worked well together. I created my own family. I always dreamed of being married and having babies. I was an only child and swore I would never let that happen to my kids. I would have at least 2. (Being an only child is not what people think it’s cracked up to be. When your father passes away when your only 7, your mom has to work 2 or 3 part time jobs, and you have epilepsy so you get stuck at home, because she is afraid for you to leave the house while she is out. I’m not complaining about any of that.) Then a whole bucket full of stuff started to happen. No need to get into. The marriage lasted 28 years. My sons are grown. Recently my mom passed away. They say that everything happens for a reason. I know that’s true. I have been trying very hard to keep that faith. But since mom died it has been hard. Every time I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel something else closes that door.
    Being sad, depressed or sorry for yourself which is it. I noticed that the one thing you didn’t mention until the end. You spoke of getting married to a beautiful woman. Having your child that you put into the category of major problems. But from that point on up until the end. You never mentioned the love and support you had from your wife. That things turned out with a great kid (regardless of the health -which I didn’t catch). You can feel sorry for yourself from time to time. But when you have that love and support and someone to lean on. That’s the part that others wish they had. The part when you mentioned that no matter how bad you think your life is there is a whole load of people that would trade places with you compared to their problems. I don’t think too many people would want to go through having their brother murdered. Or what happened to your father. Or the fact that you lost your mother just because you had the time with her that you did. I think they probably wouldn’t want you to have to trade places with their life. Everyone has something in their life that they could look at it the same way you have. I think the worst would be to just be alone. You have nothing to gain and nothing to lose. Feel sorry for yourself. I think most people are entitled from time to time. If you have loved ones around they will be the ones to pull you through. In your end that’s what you had. Now that’s the part that most people would trade place for. How you got through it.
    Can you imagine going through everything you went through only to end up totally alone. No family or friends. All tragic things have happened to them. Yes you can start over. But feeling sorry for yourself wouldn’t or shouldn’t be frowned on. Who would know anyway?

  • KnowItAllKnowItAll Post author

    I’m sorry but I disagree. Feeling sorry for yourself should be frowned upon as it serves absolutely no purpose and is was when I stopped feeling sorry for myself that I was able to turn things around.

    You are correct, my wife did and does provide love and support but tough times also brings tough times within a marriage. I did not mention it in the post but my wife did come very close to leaving me. Not because she didn’t love me and not because she is materialistic but because of what the “feeling sorry for myself” attitude did to me as a person. I was not the person she fell in love with. She was my crutch. The person I constantly leaned on. No matter how strong anything it, keep putting full weight on it and it’s bound to break at some point. She came very very close to breaking and to this day I am grateful that she did not. My son is thankfully healthy although there were challenging times there as well.

    There were times when I actually wished I was alone. The fact that I had people counting on me when I couldn’t count on myself at times made the rut much worse than it had to be. At the end of the day we’re all human. I created to help anyone who may feel terrible about their situation who feels the need to type in some words into a search engine to hopefully land on said post to perhaps give them a different perspective. There are people who may have took a long walk off a short bridge had he or she went through what I did but that was the point.

    From the tone of your post I’m assuming that you feel that you are alone and are feeling sorry for yourself at this point in time. I will make no further assumptions but I feel it necessary to make a statement. Often times a person may feel that they are alone simply because many people don’t reach out to them. There is no stopping a person who feels their alone from reaching out to others. Often times others have no idea as to how the “feeling sorry for themselves” person actually feels.

    What I’m getting at is that we are all in control of our own lives. For example, a person doesn’t have a partner in life? Try to find one. A person comes home to an empty home and feels that they have no friends? Stop going home to that empty home, go out and make some friends.

    You’re not alone. Contact me through this site with your phone number and I’ll give you a call anytime.

  • Sue Pridgen

    Normally I wouldn’t respond. I figured that it would sound that way. No matter what I have to say. But my life is what it is. There are extenuating circumstances that do effect my life. Some things I have no control over and it pisses me off. I don’t feel sorry for myself, I am pissed. I do my best to do as much on my own as possible but to do that I have to interrupt someone else (one day I am going to learn how to spell elseses). life. I didn’t say why I left that company (that I had worked for 14 years). Not because I wanted to. But because I got in my car one morning (after not sleeping the night before), to go to work. Backed out of my drive way. Never put it drive and had my first Grand-Mal Seizure. My epilepsy came back after about 16 years. I was only 33. I had just been promoted to S.P.C. Engineering Technician. Which I have no idea what my whole job would be. I had been lucky working in that company. The comptroller for that company had worked her way to the top and for some reason took a liking to me. She gave me several chances at other jobs that I blew. It was after my 1st son was born that I got lucky went to work in Production Control Department as a Clerk. I had one of the best bosses. It was a woman. I am not complaining. After we were bought out the new company tore our department up and spread everyone out. I was pregnant with my 2nd son. I was offered several jobs in different departments when I got back. But the only one that I knew nothing about and I could keep my pay was the Quality Department. The last 6 years I worked there. 1988-1994. That’s when I became interested in Engineering and Statistics. I learned more on the job than any thing else. But at the end I was putting in 40-60 hours a week. Happily married with 2 young sons. I do thank God that he gave me 16 years of medicine free from the epilepsy, so I was able to have my sons. We thought I had outgrown it. Come to find out mine I get from my mother’s side of the family and it runs deep and way back. There had been 20 years of research done, I had been having symptoms the whole time I just didn’t realize that’s what they were. Sleep deprivation and stress caused it to come back. I tried to work but at the time my husband wanted me to quit. My mistake.
    When he left it was on good terms. But most of our friends chose the other set (his brothers) and I lost most of the ones I had at work. Now my best friend lives in MD. And I have one here we used to work with. I have always had a lot of respect for him when it came to his knowledge of the machines he worked on. The ones I had to do studies. I always wanted to earn his respect back. He has a good heart, I don’t know anyone that doesn’t have a good word to say about him. And my mom fell in love with him after they met. Not that kind of love. She just thought a lot of him.
    My mom was my other best friend. Yes I am working on being alone. Again. And now I am concentrating more on getting our bills in order, so that we aren’t broke at the end of the month. I am on disability. I am not allowed to drive. And if anyone ask me why don’t you ask your doctor if you can drive again or work again or the biggy, try to get your dr. to let you drive again. and work again. I will scream.!!!
    Like I haven’t? Mom took care of that. Another story. But since 33 other health problems have popped up. Most from my fathers side of the family. The only thing that bothers me is feeling like I bother everyone else. That and I never thought that I would be living a life like this when I dreamed of what my life would be like at this age. I have 2 grandchildren. Because growing up we were a small family. I guess I figured being grown I would have a big family.
    So there you go. I am sad from time to time. But I usually cry alone. Pissed at the circumstances is the majority of the time.
    I just want to feel compassion for those that have gone through something like what you went through and understand. Instead of judge and say don’t live in the past, or your stronger than you think. Ask is there anything I can do?
    Sorry you had to go through what you did. It’s a good thing your wife toughed it out. You know that better worse/richer poorer/sickness health thing.
    That’s the only point I was trying to make. Sorry I came across the wrong way.

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