Cars Are Too Fucking Expensive!!!

As a dude, your vehicle as in an extension of your long appendage. The time in your car from the commute to and from work is YOUR TIME. The time when you leave all the things that have pissed you off and are pissing you off in the rear view mirror. You get into your car, turn over the engine and enjoy the drive. However, it absolutely sucks that you can’t enjoy the drive as the drive sucks!

My shit beater is running great as I keep up with the usual maintenance. The problem is I never wanted the car to begin with and only purchased it as I got a super sick deal and it was the “responsible” purchase. I had small child at the time and needed something large enough to safely transport a young one along with tons of young one shit need when making any sort of trip so I pulled the trigger.

Fast forward almost 8 years later and the damn ride is aesthetically beat to hell. Dings, dents, scratches and the normal crap that those of us who own a vehicle in New York City deal with on a daily basis. I HATE MY FUCKING CAR!! Sure it runs great but going 0-60 in 10 fucking seconds sucks. Having a full load of passengers and feeling the strain of the engine sucks. In fact the only good thing about the beast is that it’s 100% mine and I don’t miss the payments. However, from time to time I dream of blowing the fucking thing to bits and purchasing a vehicle I WANT. You know the car that has you looking forward to your commute. The car that allows you to blow past people from a dead stop. The car that is you. Than I start to look at the prices of new and used cars and become thankful that I have my shit beater. Whether new or used CARS ARE TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE!!!!

Year after year the prices of new and used vehicles climb and IMHO look like shit! I can barely find a car that I find visually appealing and has the performance I would want in another car. All I want is a small car with a kick ass engine, a sweet sound system and a sun roof. Instead the options are a compact car with 120 HP for around $18K, a mid size cookie cutter family transport in the mid to high $30′s or a luxury vehicle in the $40K price range that has the performance but options I don’t want or feel I never ever would need.

Heck, even looking at used cars is a fucking joke. Yes, I can get a car that sold for over $32K 4 years ago and pay $20K for the same car 4 years later with a super low 70,000 miles! WTF! I realize I am getting older and everything is getting more and more expensive but this shit is crazy! The economy sucks, people are struggling to find work, student loan debt is through the roof, home prices are fucking insane and finding an awesome car at a reasonable price is damn near impossible!

LISTEN UP DICK WAD AUTOMAKERS! THIS IS WHAT I WANT SO MAKE IT HAPPEN!

1. Compact car that has a mid size feeling.
2. A kick ass engine! 240+ HP with matching torque would be cool. Heck, turbo charge it to boot.
3. A loud ass system so I can listen my music.
4. Making it look mean!
5. Make it FUCKING AFFORDABLE!

I don’t give a flying fuck about heated seats and mirrors, bluetooth connectivity, parking assistance, satellite radio or drive assist. I don’t need an in seat massager to rub my ass while battling traffic. All I want is the 5 fucking things posted above. That’s all I want instead all I get is…..

Only $35,000! It can be yours for $450 a month or  take a low mileage lease for $300 a month!

Only $35,000! It can be yours for $450 a month or take a low mileage lease for $300 a month!

5 thoughts on “Cars Are Too Fucking Expensive!!!

  • andrew

    get a bicycle. i did just that 3 years ago. owning a car doesnt make your dick any bigger. exercise, by riding your bike, does make your dick bigger. it will increase your endurance as well. two for one. or join the majority idiots who think having a fancy car that deprives them of exxercise and leads to obesity makes them sexier…. idiots!!!

  • KnowItAllKnowItAll Post author

    Riding a bike to work in the snow would be too much and am I’m too much of a lazy asshole to turn a one way 20 minute commute into an hour or so bikeride.

  • confused

    you need to accept your reality.

    you cant quantify much of what you want so i assume you don’t really understand what will make you happy or are much of a car guy.

    1. mid size feeling? wtf does that even mean.
    2. means nothing without knowing how heavy the car is or how good the drivetrain is
    3. stock sound is going to suck, at the very least buy a new head unit and or amp for the speakers and add a sub… you can do a cheap basic upgrade for $500. research and basic ability to use tools will save u $$$ on this…closer to $2000 is going to get you a really super nice sound system but then you have to worry about people stealing it out of your not so costly car.
    4. this tells me you want everything, you cant afford something that people are going to care about seeing and you cant see your car while your driving… so why care? compromise!
    5. affordable is a relative term, but tends to be used by people without much money and also generally isn’t associated with “fun” or “fast”.

    now that you either think I’m a dick or are thinking more clear minded about what you really want…let me give you my recommendation!

    I think the best car for you would be…(drum roll)… a ford mustang v6. a new 2014 ford v6 manual trans perf pack will run you about 23k out the door. u can snag a used one (2011 model or higher have 300hp v6) with 50k miles for under 15k. 0-60 in under 5.5s if you know how to drive. people that say the handling sucks don’t understand what makes good handling or know how to drive. you will however NEED winter tires for the winter of it gets cold where you’re at. this allows you to use good summer tires in the summer to really drive!

    if you want a 4 door car and to use all seasons all year round? your a tool..don’t know anything..and need to stay in a slow car before you lose control and kill someone.

    ok maybe i am a dick…

  • KnowItAllKnowItAll Post author

    My reality is just fine….my car sucks and replacing it sucks even more which is why I decided to beat the ever living shit out of it for at least another 2 years.

    1. Mid size feeling? Meaning a compact car that does not quite feel compact as in feels midsized.
    2. The lighter the car and the more HP and torque it has the faster it feels.
    3. That’s the point. Why does stock sound have to suck. It’s bad enough paying through the noise for a fucking car but than having to go out and upgrade the sound system in a brand new car really grinds my gears.
    4. No I don’t want everything. All I want is a compact car (that doesn’t feel like I’m driving shoe box), horsepower and torque, a decent sound system at a price that doesn’t break the bank.
    5. Affordable is a relative term and is normally not associated with “fun” or “fast” although it used to be. I used to have a FX16 Corolla hatch back that was cheap, fun and fast although it used to scare the ever living hell out my girlfriend.

    FUCKING WOW! Before I decided to keep my shit beater and had the choices down to 2 cars. The fist, Subaru WRX automatic with a 270 HP boxer 4 banger. The second a V6 MUSTANG! What held me back is that the Mustang is RWD and will suck to drive in the snow especially if the next few winter years suck as bad as this winter did. I liked everything about the WRX except for the price….a little over $32K. I was leaning heavy on the V6 Mustang but decided the best course of action is to drive my banged up beast of a car for at least 2 more years or until the wheels fall off.

    HEY!!!! The WRX is a 4 door, fast, cool as fuck and AWD and 4 doors come in handy when carting around a little one. Yeah…. I don’t know cars LOL.

    I don’t think you a dick just think you made a dick statement. The fact that you recommended a V6 Mustang automatically eliminates you being a dick. Job well done pal.

  • Alessandro

    I bought a 2002 Audi S6 Avant (SW), 1 owner, 340 hp, 4 wheels drive, Bose Audio System for 5850$ and i’m very happy…

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