Thank you Seattle Washington for creating ground zero for the minimum wage debate! I’ve read dumb shit in the newspapers, listened to dumb shit on the radio and have read enough online rhetoric online that it makes me want to smack the ever living shit out of any person who earns a minimum wage living but yet feels entitled! Entitled? Yes fucking entitled to such things as:

1. An apartment without a roommate(s)!
2. A fucking car!
3. A cell phone!
4. To support a family of four!
5. Other obvious shit that a person with an education would understand!

Minimum wage is the fucking bare minimum that an employer is mandated to pay a fucking person for their labor. How this simple fact of life is lost on thousands, perhaps millions, of ass clowns has almost left me speechless. When the fuck did minimum wage ever equate to living a life full of fucking luxuries?! Yes, I wrote luxuries. Please allow me to expand.

1. An apartment without roommate(s) – You earn minimum wage. An apartment absent of a person who is in the same miserable financial position such as yourself is what the fuck your life is about. You should be fucking happy to have a mattress on the floor bare of furniture and be thankful that you don’t live in a fucking card board box under a bridge!

2. A fucking car – Owning a car is a luxury and owning and maintaining a car can be expensive, especially for those who shouldn’t have one to begin with. Public transportation exists for a reason. If you earn minimum wage you should be thankful that public transportation exists. Gas is expensive, insurance can be and why the fuck should you be in a rush to get to your dead end job to begin with?

3. A cell phone – As a piece of shit minimum wage laborer you should know that you can actually get a free fucking cell phone paid for by the likes of this guy who must pay a fucking federal tax help pay for your free fucking cell phone. Granted, you can’t send text messages or post selfies of yourself online but why the fuck should you?

4. To support a family of four – This makes me more irate than I can even write about. You don’t earn enough to support yourself but somehow decided that the cost of a condom was to expensive when compared to bringing breathing living bodies into the world that you couldn’t afford to begin with. It’s not your fault that you can’t support your children it’s the asshole who had to be liquid $2,000,000 and spend over $1,000,000 to open the golden arch restaurant that you bitch about not paying you enough to fuck up my order of 2 burgers, fries and nuggets that is missing a burger and the fucking fries!

5. Other obvious shit that a person with an education would understand – If you have an education there is no need for me to expand. If you don’t have an education there is nothing that I can type to make you understand that you should have attended high school instead of smoking weed and drinking 40 ounces of malt liquor or why you should have kept your legs locked tight or required that the dude who fucked you should of wore a rubber times 4.

Thankfully, we have the great city of Seattle to thank for making minimum wage workers feel entitled to earn a wage on par with armed security guards, peace officers, health care attendants or any other field of work that doesn’t involve the question “To stay or to go.”

Fuck Seattle. If you think that ever rainy slice of heaven is expensive come visit the city that never sleeps and got back to me.