Fuck Cigarettes! I’m Done With Cigarettes For Good!!

Fuck cigarettes! I’m done with those nasty smelling, cancer causing, chemical infested, burning, leaving ashes everywhere, teeth yellowing, super expensive, pay to kill myself addictive fucking things!!

I have been smoking since I was 15 years old am completely amazed at the stupidity of my behavior for over the last 20 years of my life. I don’t know why the fuck I decided to start smoking in the first place but when I started smoking a pack of smokes cost around $2. Now in the year 2014 I have been paying around $12 a fucking pack for years. At a pack of day, sometime more, I have been killing myself and paying to kill myself at somewhere to the tune of close to $4,000 a fucking year! That’s like paying someone $10 a day to kick you in the fucking nuts.

My girlfriend at the time, wife now, hated the fact that I smoked. I promised her I would quite. That was over 15 years ago. I promised myself and her that I would quit when my kid was born. That was over 8 fucking years ago. I tried to quit cold turkey only to make some sort of excuse as to why I needed a smoke. I tried that patches only to feel that my heart was going to explode. I tried the gum but it tasted like shit. I tried e-cigs only to smoke those twice as much at a higher price and realized I was probably doing as much damage to my body. I thought about using Chantix but didn’t want to deal with the side effects. I thought about hypnosis but didn’t want to pay over $350 for something that probably wouldn’t work. I now realize that I never had any intention of quitting. If I did why the fuck would I continue to purchase pack after pack?

I have done a ton of dumb shit over the course of the last 20 somewhat years of my life in the pursuit of getting my fix. What do I mean? Here is a list of stupid shit I have done to continue the habit absent of all the money I have pissed away. 13 reasons to say “Fuck cigarettes!”

1. Went out numerous times in downpours without an umbrella to buy a pack of cigarettes. Fuck cigarettes!
2. Went out in blizzards to buy a pack of cigarettes. Fuck cigarettes!
3. Walked around NYC piss ass drunk at 3AM in the morning to find an open store where I could not only but a pack of cigarettes but only buy the cigarettes if the store had my brand of cancer sticks. Fuck cigarettes!
4. Purchased 2 packs of cigarettes to avoid the chance that I could run out at some point during the night to avoid having to go out at an inconvenient time. Fuck cigarettes!
5. Went outside in below 0 degree weather to get my fix although I couldn’t feel my face or hands.
6. Almost got kicked out of Yankee Stadium for smoking. Fuck cigarettes!
7. Smoked a cigarette during halftime of a Knicks game at MSG because I was drinking and “needed” one not giving a rats ass about all the kids there. Fuck cigarettes!
8. Counted the number of cigarettes left in a pack and calculated whether or not I may run out before I go to sleep as the deciding factor as to whether to buy another pack or run the risk of running out. Fuck cigarettes!
9. When asked for a cigarette by a fellow smoker lied and said “Sorry, this is my last one.” when asked for a cigarette. Fuck cigarettes!
10. When budgeting for my weekly expenses, worked backwards based on my smoking habit. Fuck cigarettes!
11. While driving to work one morning after a night of snowfall “needed” a cigarette and tried to open my driver side window but it wouldn’t open. The driver said back window did. I opened the back window so I could flick the ashes out the window. Fuck cigarettes!
12. Dropped a cigarette on the stove, setting it on fire on the stovetop as I couldn’t find a lighter or a book of matches. Fuck cigarettes!
13. Have chosen cigarettes over eating when not having enough money in my wallet for both to avoid going to an ATM. Fuck cigarettes!

The above is only some of stupid shit I have done to support my smoking habit. To make matters worse I FUCKING HATE CIGARETTES and here’s why:

1. I’m paying to kill myself. – Why not just pay someone $10 a day to kick me in the fucking nuts?
2. Makes my clothes smell like an ashtray.
3. Leaves ashes fucking everywhere.
4. Yellow teeth.
5. Makes me look older than I am.
6. Having to deal with the melodramatic non smokers of the world.
7. Stamina is effected.
8. All the $$$$ I have pissed away!

Again a short list and far from all inclusive but the bottom line is FUCK CIGARETTES as in FUCK CIGARETTES!!!!

I have wanted to quit smoking at various times for years and have actually done it for weeks at a time and for almost a month one time. Me being the asshole that I am have come up with what I feel is an ingenious way for me to finally kick the habit and kick the habit for good. I feel it’s ingenious although my wife thinks I’m full of shit but I recommend this to anyone who is as fucked up as I am. I BOUGHT A BRAND NEW FUCKING CAR!!!!

A brand new car? Not just any brand new car. A brand new car that I have wanted for what seems like forever. I sat down and calculated how much money I spent a month on killing myself. I than calculated what my payment would be on the car that I have always wanted. Stop with the absolutely stupid act of lighting a piece of paper filled with nicotine, tobacco and cancer causing chemicals and I could actually afford to drive the car I want leaving behind the responsible, soul sucking vehicle I drove for the last 8 years.

Now here’s the kicker. I can only afford my super awesome, turbocharged, amazing sound system, feel like a pimp, try to race me and be embarrassed new car if cigarettes are 100% taken out the equation. 1 pack….1 fucking pack and I’m short on my car payment. If I actually drive this car into a parking lot and buy a pack of smokes knowing that’s the difference between me keeping my ride or having the repo dude show up I deserve not only to be smacked in the back of the head with a bat but to be hung upside down by my nuts while being forced to watch gay make porn for 24 hours while having my eyelids kept open with toothpicks!!

A bit extreme? ABSOLUTELY! Complete and utter stupidity? PERHAPS but different strokes for different folks. I feel that this is a win win situation. I quit smoking thus allowing me to stop killing myself while I reallocate my former smoking funds to the car that I have always wanted. Should I buy a pack, ONE FUCKING PACK, said vehicle goes bye bye. It’s kind of like the movies “Tales from the Darkside” where a man’s wife would have her finger cut off if he smokes a cigarette. He does and she loses her finger.

Will I keep my ride or will the repo man come a knocking? Let me think!

Chitika vs Google AdSense – A Honest Review of Chitika Compared to Adsense

I had looked into Chitika years ago and almost a year ago to the date of this posting decided to run Chitika on this very blog. Of course, I also run adsense on this blog. Bottom line is that comparing Chitika to Adsense is like comparing a baseball player just drafted and playing in the Rookie Rookie A League to Miguel Cabrera. Adsense is the biggest and best on the block and Chitika is not so much but considering they’ve been around for over 10 years there must be a reason behind it.

To be fair in this review I decided to run a side by side comparison by running reports for both Chitika and Adsense from January 1st, 2014 through June 7th, 2014. Granted a didn’t think it would be close but how far apart Chitika is to Adsense shocked me a bit. A check my Adsense earnings daily and Chitika almost never but WOW!

    Adsense

Page views – 72,219
Clicks – 290
Page CTR .40%
CPC $.56
Page RPM $2.25
Earnings $162.60

    Chitika

Impressions 84,689
Clicks -271
Page CTR .32%
CPM – $.05
Earnings – $4.52

I run various Chitika products on this blog so I fully expected the impressions to be higher than the impressions I received through AdSense and was quite surprised that the click through rate/clicks was not too far apart between the two. However, earnings are far far apart. With Adsense I’m earning $.56 cents per click whereas through Chitika I’m earning a little over a cent and a half. Where it’s get a bit tricky is that I run AdSense on other blogs of mine but do not run Chitika anywhere but here. On another one of my blogs I’m earning almost $1 a click through Adsense so I may install Chitika on the other blog to see if the disparity will be as great as it is here.

Hands down winner is AdSense as expected but Chitika is far from worthless. In my opinion any revenue is good revenue and Chitika does generate revenue. Chitika in my opinion does not generate substantial income when compared to AdSense but whereas with AdSense you can only get paid once your account hits $100 Chitika has a payment threshold of only $10. I have been declined by almost every ad network on the face of the planet do to the risque nature of this blog and my love of using foul language to rant and rave.

Of course if I were required to choose between AdSense and Chitika, Adsense would be the way to go but as you can run Chitika in combination with AdSense I really don’t see any issue in doing so as I have done for almost a year at this point.

In closing, in a apples to apples comparison where it’s Chitika vs Google AdSense, Adsense is the run away winner but Chitika does bring value and more importantly revenue to the table. If you have a blog and have not been running Chitika why not give it a try? It won’t make you a ton of money but if you like generating revenue anyway you can I say give Chitika a go.

Life Sucks?! Think Again…..

We all have those days and times when we think that life sucks. However, when you find yourself in that frame of mind it’s make it much easier to swallow when you can take a deep breath, exhale and realize no matter how bad and how hopeless you may feel at that particular moment in time there are a shitload of people who would gladly exchange places with you if given the chance. Believe me I know how much life can suck and how it feels to find yourself in utter despair but each day is an opportunity to turn things around. Don’t believe me? Try this life on for size.

Your grandfather dies from cancer. Your grandmother kicks the bucket on Christmas day later that same year. Your uncle dies of cancer not even a year later. Your other uncle also dies of cancer not even a year from the time your other uncle died from the same disease. Yeah that sucks but then your other uncle dies from a brain tumor. Your mother dies from cancer before before you make your 23rd birthday. Your brother is murdered not even a year later. Thankfully you married a woman who is everything you ever wanted. She’s smart, pretty and comes from a great family. After a few years of marriage you decide to try for a child and after months and months of trying the child is coming. Unfortunately the child is supposedly underweight and there is a good chance that the child will be born with down syndrome. Your father after having lived through all of this shit luckily makes retirement. As he begins to enjoy the work free lifestyle he suffers a stroke and is confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life and lives on as a prisoner in his own body. Prior to the stroke your father married your mothers best friend, not for love but to help her out. She’s about to divorce him but when he suffers the stroke she gets $$$ in her eyes and fights you tooth and nail when you attempt to protect your fathers assets, prenuptial agreement be damned. You own a business and are less than a month away from being 100% debt free and 100% liquid but the industry in which you make your livelihood crashes leaving you with no other choice but to declare bankruptcy. Instead of going on your planned trip with your business partner to the Bahamas where you would sip fruity drinks and have a great time pissing away your hard earned money you instead find yourself trying to make a dollar from 15 fucking cents.

Yup, the above is the life that I have lived with a bunch of more fucked up moments than I care to disclose at this moment. What I’m getting at is that it would have been easy for me to throw my hands in the air and say “Fuck it, I’m done!” There were times when I felt as if I were cursed and no matter what I did to try to change my situation the cards were stacked against me. I would get knocked down, brush myself off and get knocked down again and again. I’m not a religious person but it felt as I was living in purgatory. It felt as if there was no way out!

I don’t remember exactly when it happened but it happened. It was a moment of clarity that allowed me to sleep peacefully for the first time in a long time and when I awoke from my sleep I felt as if I could conquer the world. It’s called STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! I realized that no matter how bad I felt my life was up until that point that there were a shitload of people that would gladly exchange places with me.

Death is a part of life and a certainty.

My mother died. – There are thousands of people who wish they would have been able to meet their mothers! I was privileged to not only have her in my life but to simply have her. I had her for 22 years which is more than many people can say.

My brother was murdered. – He is gone but not forgotten. I miss him everyday of my life. He protected me, taught me things that I will never forget and help mold me into the person that I am. His memory lives on through my child who carries my brothers name as his middle name. Whenever I play catch with my kid I remember who it was who taught me to catch and throw.

My business went bankrupt. – Shit happens. At least I had the experience of running my own business. Fuck, I had the balls to go out on my own which many people would never dare to do. There was nothing I could have done differently. It was a simple matter of circumstance. Business is about timing and the timing just happened to be off. I could drive myself crazy thinking about what could have been or simply accept it for what it was and is. I decided to choose the later.

Life sucks?! Think again. I felt life was hopeless but today I am thankful for the trials and tribulations I lived through and find myself in peace. I am thankful and happy with where my life is today. I have a beautiful wife who is also my best friend. I look forward to growing old with her and will hopefully have her by my side when it is time for me to leave this earth. I have an awesome kid and I look forward to raising him so that he can be everything that I’m not and provide for him so that his life will be easier than that of my own. I have a career and I’m steadily climbing to a six figure salary. I may never be rich but I will be able to live comfortably. I will be able to help those who I love financially in the future and look forward to doing so.

You may be way a was not too long ago but stay positive and keep pushing forward. Things will get better….I’m living proof.